Rewriting the Happiness Equation

Reality - Expectations = Happiness

Congrats, world! We’ve managed to boil down happiness to an equation simpler than determining slope!

But, of course, we all know, and more importantly feel, that there’s more to it than that. I’m not a math gal, I’m a words gal — so let’s see if I can figure this out on this random Thursday afternoon.

Dissecting Reality

The reality is that reality is always changing, and 2020 serves as a perfect example of the extent to which our reality can change beyond our comprehension. If you’re reading this right now, give yourself a pat on the back or a glass of wine. You’re doing whatever it is you’re doing despite what’s going on around you — you adapted, maybe it was a bumpy road, but you did it. That takes grit.

(ΔReality + Grit)

Ch-Ch-Changes

In certain ways, the pandemic provided me with relief; relief in the sense that I have the most valid excuse for not fulfilling or exceeding my original expectations.

Is that lazy? Maybe. But I’m not here to figure out the equation for productivity. Screw “the grind” or the cliché that one needs to be miserable in order to achieve. There are no rules, no matter how many click-bait articles they may write.

Before COVID began I was “grinding” away to become this person I’d be proud of, that my family and friends would be proud of, without knowing what that person actually looks like; and sure as hell not giving a DAMN what that person felt like. How. Futile.

COVID forced us to be more present, to put more focus on process than final product, to see what works and what doesn’t in our lives, giving us room for error, relieving some pressure.

((ΔReality + Grit) - Pressure)

Let’s Talk About Stress, Baby

For many, probably most, stress is at an all time high. Understandably so. It’s not fun, but it’s part of the equation.

Between the cold winter and, you know, everything else, my finger skin and bottom lip are raw. I literally just blew pieces of my lip off the collar of my shirt. But given patience, over time, skin repairs itself. We must be patient with our minds, as well.

((ΔReality + Grit) - Pressure) + Stress(Patience/Time)

Solving for Why

As you can see, our equation has gotten rather long. So long I honestly forgot what I was solving for (not unlike math exams in high school, heh). But for some reason, seeing it written out like that makes me feel better.

Why are we always reaching for this abstract happiness that we can’t define? Or reducing happiness to a - b when there are so many other variables? Isn’t the expectation to find happiness a pretty daunting one? Seems pretty self-defeating in our original equation.

So I guess I didn’t end up solving happiness! Damn!

So what does

((ΔReality + Grit) - Pressure) + Stress(Patience/Time) = ?

It equals why each and every one of us is still here today.

It equals resilience.

It equals the truth.

It equals hope.

It equals you.

Happiness is changing the variables you can control to make yourself feel a little better, and knowing that on any given day, that’s enough.

P.S.

Do not expect any proofs.

P.P.S

I realize that this is not real math. PLEASE EXCUSE MY DEAR AUNT IDGAF.